I'm a feather with a cat icon

jethrocane:

a pregnant woman goes into a coma

months later she wakes up, no longer pregnant

“you had twins! ” the nurse exclaims. “your brother named them”

“what did he name the girl?” the woman asks

“denise”

“that’s alright, I like denise. and the boy?”

“denephew”

actualfairyboy:

tardis-mind-palace:

w-for-wumbo:

mylourrydiary:

hlil:

Can u believe there are plants that are illegal
Plants

Can you believe there is love that is illegal
Love

can you believe it’s not butter
butter

the fact that Tumblr can fit weed, bestiality and diary products all into one post doesn’t even phase me anymore

i really dont think they meant bestiality

bertlholders:

Has this been done yet

bertlholders:

Has this been done yet

pleasecallmesurely:

you wanna know what kind of questions stage managers get asked?

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Questions like this

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And this

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anY NUDITY

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goddammit Alex I’m not even your stage manager!

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SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE!

witch-of-sound:

dr-walrus:

callmebliss:

musica-mundana:

sit-back-relax-relapse:

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT KIND OF MUSICAL NOTATION THIS IS

That’s a shark

True scourge of the high Cs

I’M DONE

music jokes will never fail to amuse me

witch-of-sound:

dr-walrus:

callmebliss:

musica-mundana:

sit-back-relax-relapse:

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT KIND OF MUSICAL NOTATION THIS IS

That’s a shark

True scourge of the high Cs

I’M DONE

music jokes will never fail to amuse me

blue-eyed-skeleton:

invader-voodoo:

i tried

and you fucking succeeded my friend

fvanjik:

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY BLOG
IM JUST LAUGHING SO HARD
moment of silence 4 ppl who have to deal with surprise dick pics

spookyhella:

casually call people “human” to unsettle them and make them question what sort of being you are

macabrekawaii:

agentvictoriahand:

spooky-neighborhood-demiurge:

qozxe:

my-kokoro-just-brokoro:

This isn’t like Ash and Pikachu. How the fuck does he expect to catch him?

rest in fucking pieces

nO YOU FUCKING BASTARDS THIS IS HIS STARTER. HIS. STARTER. YOU DON’T THINK YOU DON’T RATIONALIZE YOU DON’T THINK OF YOURSELF IF THE STARTER IS HURT AND YOU CAN IN ANY WAY CUSHION THEIR FALLYOU CUSHION THE DAMN FALL

starter bond is somethin special all right doesnt matter how much that charizard weighs you lift it up

people who swap out their starter pokemon in games make me sick

macabrekawaii:

agentvictoriahand:

spooky-neighborhood-demiurge:

qozxe:

my-kokoro-just-brokoro:

This isn’t like Ash and Pikachu. How the fuck does he expect to catch him?

rest in fucking pieces

nO YOU FUCKING BASTARDS THIS IS HIS STARTER. HIS. STARTER. YOU DON’T THINK YOU DON’T RATIONALIZE YOU DON’T THINK OF YOURSELF IF THE STARTER IS HURT AND YOU CAN IN ANY WAY CUSHION THEIR FALLYOU CUSHION THE DAMN FALL

starter bond is somethin special all right doesnt matter how much that charizard weighs you lift it up

people who swap out their starter pokemon in games make me sick

hedgyhedgehog:

jacquesattack:

You don’t fuck with the tray master

There’s something about the casual destructive power of immense, self-certain competence.

hedgyhedgehog:

jacquesattack:

You don’t fuck with the tray master

There’s something about the casual destructive power of immense, self-certain competence.